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Jenny Shitter Ties The Knot!
July 31st, 2006
I just can’t believe it-- Jenny Ritter (aka Jenny Shitter!) married? It seems like just yesterday we were both running around LuHi causing trouble and now look at you! All married and grown up n’stuff. AND- to a really nice guy might I add. What was it I said at your rehearsal dinner? “How’d YOU snag HIM?” Just kidding. Pete’s a lucky guy. Anyway, it seems all my good friends from high school are either married or engaged these days, which means I’ve got a closet full of bridesmaid dresses and a huge bill from Crate and Barrel. Seriously, can you guys space these things out a bit? Anyway, on with Jenny’s wedding story-- it was a pretty nice event.
The morning of the wedding we all got ready at Jenny’s house. Momma Shitter had bagels for us and I made some obnoxiously strong coffee. It was fun to be back in the Ritter’s house-- a place where I spent many, many hours in high school. I guess I should give a little background… Jenny Ritter (aka “shitter") was my best friend in high school. We were pretty much inseparable. Early on in our friendship I invited her to the river with me and my fam. She later confessed she was terrified of my father who-- let’s be honest is a bit scary sometimes. Anyway- she eventually survived his comments like “You have a boyfriend? He must be blind AND deaf” and after awhile just became one of the family. It was Niagara falls for my mom when she walked down the aisle. Something else you should know about Jenny is that she’s always been obsessed with monkeys. Instead of those lame-ass bow-bouquets most people carry for the wedding rehearsal-- she carried her favorite friend- Curious George. One time in college I surprised her with a giant Monkey for her birthday.
This monkey is *almost* as tall as her husband Pete-- who is like 7’5” or something. Check out these pics:
See! I told you. These groomsmen aren’t midgets-- I swear. Jenny asked Pete how he got so tall-- he said it’s cause his mom fed him pancakes every morning. So, now you’ve met Jenny and Pete, on to the ceremony…
It included all those things you would expect at a wedding. Really controlling wedding planner (shown above!).
Pretty flowers.
Piano playing “dum, dum,da-dum...”
Slutty bridesmaids. (just kidding ladies!) Seriously though, let me get to the good stuff.
The pre-wedding jitters. Please see exhibit “a” above, note the fanning of the hands and Kleenex under armpits. But my personal favorite is exhibit “b” below-- which by the way boys-- happens at EVERY wedding. You should know that when you’re standing up there waiting for your girl to walk down the aisle-- she’s probably doing something like this:
Note the garter on the right, an excellent detail. I actually framed this photo and gave it to Jenny as a wedding gift. I know, I know, she’s lucky to have such a good friend. So, anyway, they sealed the deal, it was a super nice ceremony.
I made sure to grab a pic with Mr. Shitter- Father of the Bride, who gave probably the BEST wedding toast I ever heard at the reception. Who knew Mr. Shitter was so funny?
Here’s Jenny, her husband Pete, and me in the middle- sweaty, a little drunk, and with a lop-sided dress about to expose my right boob.
The wedding was like a high-school re-union with only our closest friends and a open bar. Awesome.
Here’s Season, Ann, and Michelle. Season’s getting married in October 2006 in Georgia!
Here’s Jenny’s dead-sexy brother Ryan Ritter. Seriously-- could he be cuter? Sorry ladies, he’s taken (a couple times over!).
I dunno who this guy is- but someone please get him a towel. Disgusting.
Oh wait-- is that Melissa’s fiance Ryan? Mel-dog, take care of your man! Melissa and Ryan are tying the knot July 2007. (see- I told you, EVERYONE is getting married-- crazy!) Anyway, like I said, it was a really great wedding.
I made sure to thank Mrs. Shitter profusely at the event.
Oh- and props to Jenny who was the best bride ever. So low-key, not stressed-out bridezilla at all. Her dress got mud on it, and she slammed her veil in the car door-- and she didn’t even bat an eyelash. And hopefully she won’t care that I’m posting pictures of her on the pot in her wedding dress on-line. Well, Congrats to you both!! Ms. Jenny Shitter and Mr. Peter Lark-- who I’ve now affectionately re-named “Lark-shit.”
summer.... you are a talented, funny, lovable, fabulous, ridiculously “out there” young woman and it my pleasure to know you and love you!! thanks for the special toilet memories of my daughter.. i probably will not frame that one but it is a winner… i love you xoxoxoxo
Summer - You nut case!! Get ready because Mrs. Shitter and I are coming to NYC in April and we want to meet up with you and have you take us everywhere, pay for all our meals and introduce us to someone famous (no Clintons, please).xoxoxo Nanny