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Good-bye Cali, Hello NY
August 23, 2005
A few days before I left for NY, Johnson Gray was nice enough to throw me a little after-work going away party at The Gulf Stream in Newport Beach. It was tons of fun.
We all took turns making fun of Scott’s lame car which has been in my Dad’s shop more times than I can count.
Seriously Scotts, sell this POS already. Or don’t-- thanks to Scott Bedard Automotive had a record year in 2005!! After consuming a dangerous mixture of white wine and martinis, I went home and announced to my roommates it was time to go out again.
I also decided if we were going out, I needed to show my love for the OC by wearing the shirt you see above. Unfortunately I had already packed pretty much my entire wardrobe. That didn’t stop me from finding it though.
Lesson #1 - NEVER EVER unpack after you’ve been drinking. Actually, don’t unpack at all- at least not until you get to the place you packed for. Ugh. Turns out that shirt was at the bottom of the 5th box of stuff I looked in. Oh well, at least I found it.
Anyway, a couple days later my parents threw this awesome going-away party at our house. Thanks so much to everybody that flew down from norcal for that. Seriously I love you guys!! In her typical Martha-Stewart style, my mom made sure everything looked really nice.
The beginning of the night was pretty mellow, and then all of a sudden this freak in a trench coat with a thick New York accent shows up.
Who is this guy?? He kept calling me “summa” and demanded we shut off the music so he could turn on his boom box. My mom was freaking out. She didn’t really envision this as the type of event that would include a stripper. To make matters worse, she kept blaming it all on my boss Reagan-- asking her “who is this guy? is this YOUR doing??” Poor Reagan had nothing to do with it. Thanks for offending my boss by asking if she ordered a stripper mom.
He played “New York, New York” and did his little dance (on my lap!). To be fair, he wasn’t too scandalous-- no speedos, he had shorts on at least. After it was all over still no one would own up to it. I kept pointing at different people trying to finding the guilty party-- who the heck ordered this guy??? And then as he was leaving he handed me a little white box. Inside was a gummy worm. A two-year old, melted gummy worm wrapped in tape. Suddenly it all made sense.
I ran straight over to Brian and got ready to punch him and push him into the pond. Here’s why: About two years earlier, I decided it would be fun to throw gummy worms at Brian during work. Later that day I found one of those worms tied to my car door. The next day he found the same worm in his lunch. You get the idea. The stakes kept rising though-- one time he fedexed the worm to me in an enormous box while I was on vacation in Hawaii, and another time I dropped it in his office before he arrived for his first day on a new job. Clearly after this stripper incident I need to get revenge- e-mail me if you have ideas. Supposedly Brian has been exchanging fruit cake with some other poor soul for 10 years. Freak.
Anyway, all the out-of-towners stayed over that night. It was so fun to see everybody.
Two days later, it was just me and my little rolly suitcase in this empty studio. My brother Mike was crazy nice and as a joint bday/christmas gift paid to fedex all my stuff through his company. I pretty much just shipped clothes, shoes, and books and bought everything else here.
Like this great big map of the subway that I can study in the shower. Anyway, a year later I feel pretty settled. For all you suckers from Cali who still haven’t come to visit-- here’s what it looks like now:
Come visit! If you’re nice I’ll let you sleep next to me and not on the floor with the rats.
I would just like to add a few little parts you have seem to mysteriously forgotten from the the OC shirt night incident. 1) You were so insistent that we go out (after finding the OC shirt) that we all got in the car and drove you around town until you decided you wanted to go home. No destination- just a ride. This made you quite happy. 2) You also spent a great deal of time that night drunk dialing friends while lying on my bed. You had the foresight to retrieve a large bottle of water from the kitchen to ease the drunkness, but apparently forgot the fact that the bottle was in your hand as you flung it-open- back and forth to emphasize your phone conversation. I will say the sight of your unpacking bomb definitely eased my ill feelings about sleeping in a puddle of water that night.